Saturday, November 2, 2013

Prayers at the Beach

This afternoon I visited my favorite local beach to do a little community service. I walked along the beach and picked up trash. Sadly, there was lots of trash to pick up. Even though the weather is turning colder every day and hence the beach is less populated, we still get a lot of debris that washes ashore from boaters in the bay. I ended up filling two kitchen trash bags full of trash, mainly beer/soda cans, soda bottle caps, cigarette butts, and food wrappers. Some of the most interesting items that I came across included a bottle of bleach, a birthday balloon, and an unopened bag of chips. Sigh.

But the reason I wanted to share my clean-up experience in a blog posting today, was a small item I came across. I almost missed it at first, because it was crumpled in a wet ball and slightly buried in the sand. As soon as it caught my eye, I knew something was unusual about this item. 

The item was several pieces of lined paper. It was a letter someone wrote to Yamaya, an African Sea Goddess. Now, I have to admit that I did read the first line of the letter, before I realized that I was violating this person's privacy and betraying the Goddess she was calling to. I immediately stopped reading the letter, and folded it up into the palm of my hand.

Luckily, there were no one nearby on the beach, because they would have though me a little mad. I was suddenly overcome the letter writer's despair. I dropped to my knees into the brown beach sand, clutching the letter and stayed there for a few minutes to ground out the energy I had unintentionally absorbed. I buried the letter deep within the sand, and asked Yamaya to hear this person's request. 

Honestly, I wasn't sure what else I should do. So I continued on my way.

I guess the really odd thing is that this is not the first time I have come across someone's letter to a deity. About 6 years ago, a gust a wind blew someone's letter to Jesus next to my car in a parking lot. I was not sure what to do, then, either. 

What would you do if you came across someone's personal prayer to a deity? Would you read it? Would you leave it where you found it? Would you dispose of it? 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Naming your pain

Sometimes, when I write,  words come out all jumbled and nonsensical. Sometimes they form poignant thoughts about life. I'd like to share something that I wrote recently. Honestly, I think it teeters on the seam between nonsense and poignancy. I'll let you decide :)


Most of the time, we don't know what is good for us. We hold on to sights, sounds, and sensations that are not healthy. We keep pushing that damn boulder up the hill, hoping that when we get near the top, it won't roll back down over us. We are afraid.

When you have spent long enough pushing the stone, you become linked to it. Your focus becomes less about the hill or the horizon and more about getting through each moment. You place all your emphasis on each step, just to move forward. And even if you just want to stand still, you need to be strong enough to hold the stone in place and not let it slide backwards.

Perhaps the worst part is knowing that the stone doesn't care. Its weight bares down on you, not from malice, but just because it is a stone. It doesn't care if it is a burden to you. It doesn't exist to vex or block you. It's a painful memory that you have fashioned into a slice of granite. Right now, you are choosing to bring it along, because you don't know any other way.

I have my own granite slab. I have been chipping away at it, but it is still here. I rest my back against it, and it is ice cold. I press my hands against it, and they chill to the bone. I am not moving this stone any more. It's just sitting here on the hillside. I circle around it, yell at it, and it is silent. I chisel words into it. I name the pain. I claim it. But I won't carry it any longer. I am walking away.

Recent Free Reading - April 2013

Hi all, I'm working on an update post this weekend, but in the meantime, I wanted to share with you a free reading I did over email for a client earlier this spring. 

If you want a reading too, check out the link at the top of my blog!



Reading for [name removed]
April - May 2013

I drew a card from the ‘The Enchanted Map Oracle’ to begin your reading. The card is called ‘Protecting Treasure’. The meaning of this card centers around the vulnerability. Specifically, this card cautions you to be wary of opportunities for people to take advantage of you. I get the sense that your eagerness to pursue your career field may encourage you to give too much of yourself to get ahead. Oftentimes, this desire leads us to the compromise your beliefs and/or the suspension of your needs to meet the needs of the team. It is an unhealthy situation and will not lead you to success. 

Your decision to turn down the recent job offer was a perfect example of what you should be doing. You followed your intuition and allowed the job offer to close. This must have been hard for you, but your instincts are always correct. 

I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about why it is exactly that you turned the position down. On the surface, it may seem that you did it because perhaps the pay wasn’t high enough or maybe the commute to work would not have been accessible. Whatever the surface reason was, I guarantee you that there was more to it. 

Please spend some time thinking about the circumstances of the job, and especially the interview. Do you recall any ‘signals’ during the interview that made you doubt that this job was the best thing for you? Did someone ask you an unusual question? Did the interviewers allude to something dishonest? Did their body language say something different than their words were stating? These are all clues to why your intuition led you away from the position. I know this may sound silly, but it is true. If you spend some time reflecting on your total experience with this job offer, then it’s likely you will recall the warning signs that your unconscious mind picked up on, which will help you notice these ‘red-flags’ in the future. 

The card ‘Protecting Treasure’, on the surface appears to be about securing one’s wealth. However, the deeper truth to the card is that YOU are the treasure! You need to make decisions that are to your highest benefit. And sometimes, it is in your highest benefit to walk away. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is not safe, and will not benefit you. Once you accept that, you will be ready for the next opportunity to appear.

I pulled another card from the ‘Enchanted Map’ deck for you. It is called ‘Details, Details.’ This card supports the previous card through the message of ‘pay attention’. This card also carries a reminder for you not to expect perfection from yourself. If you feel you need more support in an area of your personal or professional life, you should seek it out, but do not let it form a barrier to your desires!

I drew your reading’s third card from a deck called ‘Wisdom of the Hidden Realms’. The card ‘The Phoenix’ brings a message of a new cycle in your life. It reminds us that those aspects of our lives that do not fully serve our greater good will exit our lives, as long as we let them. Holding on to patterns and lifestyles that no longer meet your needs is a form of self-sabotage. Your next cycle will be full of opportunity and so you need to make room for it. That means letting go of anything that does not support your goals.

The phoenix is a creature that is reborn with every new cycle. With every chance to  grow you, too, can be reborn. The spirits suggest that this is now the time for you to enter a new cycle in your life. Now is the time for discovery!

You need to fully define what it is that you are looking for professionally, but also personally! If you do this, with zeal, and follow your intuition, then you will find the opportunities are numerous!

I drew a fourth card for you from the same deck. The card is called ‘The Swan Queen’. This card reinforces the previous card, so the spirits are giving me a very clear message to share with you. ‘The Swan Queen’ card is all about not doubting yourself.  The Queen reminds us  that transformation of any kind takes time and patience. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should just sit back and wait for something else to come along. Oh no! It does mean that you should continue to follow your intuition and pursue opportunities that you are interested in. 

One final note. Sometimes during a reading I get a flash of an image that I believe comes from the spirits that walk with you in your daily life. During your reading, I had a vision of you packing boxes. The environment seemed more like a warehouse than a home, but it could have been a garage. I’m sorry if this is vague, but it is all I could see. I hope this has some kind of meaning for you. 

I thanked your spirit for speaking with me, and I felt it’s presence depart. If you have a spare moment, please consider buying a piece of green stained glass and placing it in your home somewhere special in honor of your spirit guide. 


Recent Free Reading - March 2013

Hi all,

Here's a sample of a free reading I did for a client in March.

Hopefully this gives you a better idea about what my readings are like!



March-April 2013

The first card I drew for you is the Angel 'Sonya'. Sonya delivers messages of peace from beyond the 'veil'. Sonya says that someone that you have lost has found peace on the other side, so you should release any worry you have about them. The person has transitioned fully, carrying your love with them. 

The second card I drew for you was the 'Ask' card. This card tells you that if you need assistance from your angel guides, you do need to ask for it directly. Angels want you to be actively pursuing your dreams, but they can help you along the way if you just ask!

The third card I drew for you was the 'Focus on Service' card. This card says that you should consider what kind of service you can commit to for the greater good in your community. What can you offer to the world freely? It does not have to be anything on a grand scale. Maybe it is just a little bit of your time on a regular basis? When you devote energy to serve your community, you receive energy back into your life exponentially.  

Beyond what the cards say, I received a direct message from your angel guide. Your angel told me that she wants you to "Get away from the loudness." She is worried that you have retreated away from something that you have enjoyed and replaced it with something that is unhealthy and/or unfulfilling. She wants you to return your focus to positive, creative works and try to find your balance once more.

The angel showed me an image of her sitting next to you at a piano. You were upset, and she was trying to comfort you. You walked away from the piano and went outside. The street was crowded, and it was at night. She didn't show me any other significant details.

[Sometimes these images can be literal, as in you actually play the piano, or figurative, as in you listen to piano music a lot. It's hard for a mystic to tell the difference. I hope this has some kind of meaning for you.] 

I thanked your angel for speaking with me, and I felt her presence depart. If you have a spare moment, please consider buying her a flower and placing it in your home somewhere special.


Friday, February 1, 2013

Mental Chatter

I am super tired. My little one decided that last night would be a great night for a party. She would not settle down and sleep. I tried every trick in the 'book', and nothing worked. So, I finally brought her downstairs to the living room and let her play. I slept a little bit on the couch, but she kept hitting me with toys or calling my name, so in truth it wasn't sleeping, more like one eye open, one eye closed. She zonked out at 2 am. Ugh!

I am weirdly upset that I couldn't blog last night. Sure, I would like to think that somewhere someone is reading my blog everyday and was bummed when I didn't post, but I doubt that is true. I think the deeper reason for my disappointment is because I am afraid that my brain will use this as an excuse to beat myself up. You know what I mean, that negative mental chatter that chips away at your self-confidence.

I need a lot of sleep in order to function. My husband can be just fine with 5-6 hours of sleep at night, but I can't. I need at least 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, otherwise I am zombie in the morning. So, yeah, I'm dragging myself around this morning, but I am not myself.

Because of my lack of sleep, my mental chatter is out of control. I can't stop myself from thinking about all the things I should be doing right now. All the plans I had for today that aren't possible anymore. I don't have the strength right now to suppress this mental harassment. It's making me grumpy. {Sigh}

It's going to be one of those days. Lovely.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Prayer Warrior

My sweet grandmother passed away in December, right before Christmas. My whole family is still in mourning. When her obituary was posted on the local newspaper's website, an acquaintance from her church posted a note. The note said that she was the very definition of a "prayer warrior".

My grandmother's whole life revolved around God's love. She believed in the virtues of humanity. She was very active in her church and spiritual community. Before she became physically impaired, she would spend part of everyday at the church. She taught Sunday school, ran the clothing exchange program, and organized all sorts of events. She was one of those people that when you first meet them you just knew that they had been touched by God.

She modeled the essence of inner strength. She experienced great joys and tremendous loss and pain over her 92 years on this planet. She loved and lost her husband, yet found love again late in life. She brought five beautiful children into this world, and lost two of them way before their time. She healed after heart attacks and strokes left her body of a mere shadow of its former self. Of her remaining children, my mother was the youngest and stayed by her side quite literally until the very end. My grandmother is/was a beacon of light and strength in our family.

Upon hearing of her passing, a friend of mine said that God called her back to be an angel, to help greet the children that would passing through the gate soon after. She passed away a few hours before the horrific school shooting in Newtown, CT. She did always have a big hug for anyone who wanted one and a laugh that could lift the clouds away.

My grandmother was not the kind of prayer warrior that fought against 'evil'. She was the peaceful warrior that prayed for us all, sick or healthy, happy or downtrodden. I don't know about you, but I think everyone could use a little more prayer in their life.

Nothing I could write could ever really capture the spirit of my grandmother, because there are no words strong enough the define her soul. However, I imagine she would smile at the title of 'prayer warrior' and then shake her head and say, "Well, I don't know about that, but I do love God and that's all I need."

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Slowing Down

I visited a local state park today with my daughter. It was nearly 60 degrees outside and bright. I can't believe how beautiful it was! It was a little walk from the parking lot to the beach, but we didn't mind. The sea gulls watched us intently to see if we had brought lunch with us :)

I carried my toddler over the really muddy parts of the ground, wet from all the melting snow. I also lifted her over the areas that were deeply gouged from truck tires. There was a crew building some kind of pavilion on one side of the beach, and their massive vehicles had carved deep canyons in the browish sand where the beach met the soil. I'm sure they will repair the damage when they are done. I was just hoping that the constant sound of the beeping as the trucks backed up and unloaded over and over again would fade away the closer we got to the shoreline.

Once we got to the packed-down sand of the shoreline, I placed my daughter down onto the sand, and she bolted for the water! She was laughing loudly, and it made me so happy! It had been several weeks since we visited this park, because the weather has been snowy and cold. It was nice to be back.

I let my girl wander around, picking up handfuls of small rocks and sand and tossing them into the water. She knew she wasn't supposed to go in the water, so she stayed right on the edge. There were lots of oyster shells around too, which make a funny noise when you toss them in water. There were lots of smiles happening :)

The beach was empty, except for the seagulls and us. After a little while, I wanted to go further down the beach, but my girl didn't want to wander. She found a nice little spot next to the water to sit down in the sand and continue to toss pebbles. I was getting impatient. I called to her several times to follow me, so I could explore more the beach, but she wanted to stay put. At one point, I became frustrated. Why didn't she want to come with me? There is so much more to see! What was so great about that one spot?

As I was walking back to her, having gone as far away from her as I could without fearing her safety, I stopped in my tracks. It hit me. What the heck was MY problem? Here she is, happy as cam be, playing on a beach in January! And here I am, grumping up a storm because she didn't want to keep walking. Com'on!

I can be such an idiot sometimes. It occurred to me that I was doing the exact same thing to her that I complain all the time about when other people do it to me. I was rushing her, when all she wanted to do was enjoy the moment. She wanted to look at all the rocks and shells. She wanted to dig her bare hands into the sand and sprinkle it in the water. She wanted to hit the water with a stick she found and touch the mossy rocks at the edge of the water. I should have been doing that too, instead of pestering her!

Sure, I wanted to explore further along the beach, but I decided to sit down in the sand too. I ran my hands along the pebbles, and my frustrations drained away. I began to look closer at all the stones and found some nice pieces of green sea glass. These pieces of sea glass, pitted from sand and rounded from water, were carried by the tides and ended up here on the beach in front of me. And, because I stopped and opened my eyes, I could enjoy them, instead of rushing on by. Okay, Universe, I think I learned my lesson of the day :)

We did end up making it pretty far down the shoreline, before our rumbling tummies sent us back to the car to head home for lunch. We had a great time! If the weather stays warmish, we'll be back tomorrow. I promise not to rush the visit next time!